After a luncheon where the speaker suggested that perhaps it isn't balance we should be seeking, but harmony, I found myself thinking about this whenever my monkey mind wandered from it's usual path of worrying and trouble making.
According to Merriam-Webster, harmony is the "pleasing or congruent arrangement of parts; inner calm" while balance is defined as "an aesthetically pleasing integration of elements; mental and emotional steadiness." At first glance, the definitions seem very similar - "pleasing", "parts" = "elements", "steadiness" = "calm" - but in my mind, they are completely different.
To me, balance implies the ongoing struggle to maintain a perfect equilibrium. Think tight rope walkers - do they ever just relax during their time on the tight rope and let something else take over? Um, no or they fall off and either have to start all over again or see a doctor immediately. Same with juggling balls or spinning plates. All similes used to demonstrate how much focus it takes to keep our lives in balance.
However, harmony.....now I'm thinking music or dance. One section or group or performer has the lead for a while then another comes to the front while the others rest, pose or play in the background. Each note or movement contributes to the overall effect, but there are built in rests for everyone. Yes, it's a balance of parts because everything or body can't just play or perform at their loudest or at center stage all the time and being able to physically balance oneself is important in dance, but when a group is resting, they are really resting. Not practicing. Just waiting. Sure, they have to count a bit to know when to come back, but the more you practice, the less you have to count and the more you are aware of the rest of what is going on around you to know when to step back in or start playing again (that would be that mindfulness thing that keeps rearing its ugly head in my search). Sometimes the other part is completely offstage somewhere changing into a new costume, having a drink during the saxophone solo or is even finished for the day.
I think for me harmony represents that it's okay to put something down and leave it down for a bit. Or be really focused on and put most of my energy into one project while just sort of dinking around on another project which may appear to be of equal importance to an outsider, but which I just can't get to right now. Balance would dictate that I give everything equal importance and try to compose my day or life in such a way that I touch on everything equally. That old pie chart where your life is supposed to look like a Trivial Pursuit game board with all your colorful little wedges so nice and evenly spaced. I have never had much success with that. I know all the parts - spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual, etc., but I'm not sure I've ever had a balance among them. However, I do know that there have been times when they have worked together in harmony and I have felt the beauty of the moment without a worry that I was neglecting something to be doing something else.
Harmony. It's my word of the week.
Still working on my willing to do list. It would appear I am not yet willing to commit my thoughts to paper on that. My old thoughts on balance would dictate that I should be diligently touching on it daily, but my new harmony paradigm allows me the opportunity to let it rest while I focus on something else. And I like that. I think that might be that "inner calm" thing.
J.
